yes, it\’s that time again– time for alex and me to make our predictions for the NFL postseason. we\’ve done this a few times now, and, clearly, should know better by now.
per usual, i\’ll start with the standard disclaimer that i\’m no longer a big football guy; i watched no more than four full quarters of football this season, all vikings games, and all mind-numbingly boring. maybe if they get an offense like they had in \’98 i\’ll start caring again, but until then? sunday afternoon is prime time for weekend errands. anyhoo, per usual, i don\’t let this lack of knowledge stop me from acting like i know what i\’m talking about.
not that i\’m one to toot my own horn (i\’m not that flexible), but if you look at last year\’s picks, i chose the steelers to win the XL superbowl, while al chose the hapless seahawks. who\’s the playoff prognostication now, punky?
speaking of last year, in a similar fashion we\’ll pick one round at a time and update this every week, so be sure to check back as we try to rewrite history so we look less stupid.
on to the picks…
Round One
New York Jets at New England the patriots have appeared off this year compared to seasons past. is tom brady starting to show some… vincibility? (what is the opposite of invincibility, anyway?) the pats will also be missing safety rodney harrison for this game, making them vulnerable to the jets\’ passing game. said passing game, however, is still led by chaz pennington, the dictionary definition of \”spank.\” and while the jets have a decent receiving pair in coles and cotchery (didn\’t they start c&C music factory?) their defense can\’t stop new england\’s double-threat backfield of corey dillon and lo mulroney. New England.
Kansas City at Indianapolis This seems to be a pretty popular upset pick, what with the chiefs having larry johnson running the ball, and the colts\’ strange decision to just not play defense against the run this season. don\’t fall into that trap, though– as much as it pains me to say it, peyton is still the best quarterback in the league right now, and it would take quite a bit for me to go against him in his home stadium. along with joseph addai, marvin harrison, and reggie wayne, the colts have too many weapons for the kansas city defense to deal with. sorry, herm. Indianapolis.
Dallas at Seattle. similar to how everyone is down on indy, many are dismissing the cowboys as a legitimate playoff contender after their embarrassing loss to detroit during week 17. these people are wrong: the cowboys will be a force to be reckoned with in the playoffs. we\’re talking bill parcells: if there\’s one person who can motivate both an inexperienced rookie (romo) and a ball-hogging jackass (TO) to win, it\’s him. despite seattle\’s record, they\’re still, well, seattle and they\’re still quarterbacked by milquetoast hasselbeck. plus, i think that the officials will have it out for mike holmgren after his bitching in the playoffs last season. Dallas.
New York Giants and Philadelphia. wait– is that right? did philly actually make the playoffs this season? and they\’re hosting? wow. and jeff garcia? there used to be a guy by that name who was a decent QB in san francisco, but that was so long ago.. what? same guy? you\’re kidding. home-field advantage or no, that\’s not going to end well for philly. sorry. eli manning is pretty bad and the giants seem like they\’re in a bit of a swirl right now, but garcia is going to turn back into a pumpkin before this game is over. and you know what that means? more jeremy shockey. barf. New York Giants.
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