i\’ve been wearing pants for over 30 years now. pretty much every day. oh, sure, there was that phase back in late 2005 where i started wearing skirts pretty regularly, but that\’s in the past. i can most assuredly be described as pro-pants.
so. pre-work wade wore jeans a lot, and shorts a lot. after college, i discovered dockers. dockers are awesome. i\’m hip, casual, dressy but not overly so. i\’m a dockers dude! then, back in 2001, i decided to upgrade my lower-half apparel. for my rehearsal dinner, i bought a pair of black gabardine dress pants. pants do not adequately describe them; these are slacks. however, i can\’t ever use that word without cracking up, and the word \”trouser\” should be deleted from the english language, so i\’ve landed on: fancy pants. as the years progressed, i have replaced my stable of dockers with fancy pants. i am happy with this decision, but it has not come without cost.
until i was 25, securing my pants around my waistline was a two step process: button, then zip. every day, pants on, button, then zip. button, then zip. internalized. easy. fun, even. however, fancy pants have a new wrinkle-free wrinkle: clasp! so: clasp, button, then zip! three steps! it sounds so simple, but that\’s fighting over two decades\’ worth of mindless pant fastening! it\’s hard to teach an old dog new tricks.
my point? of course. this is the long answer as to why, three days out of five, i realize my fly is down around 10 a.m.
sigh….
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