grown up.

so, for a moment, imagine that you\’re the type of person who needs one of those white noise machines to fall asleep. (as i need to have a fan running every night to fall asleep, this is easy for me.) imagine that you\’ve fallen asleep with this every night, as well as a daily nap, for three years. In fact, imagine you\’ve fallen asleep with it every day and every night for your entire life.

then, imagine that it gets taken away from you. how do you think that first night would go?

last night was my daughter\’s first real night without pacifiers. (for some reason, at about a year she started calling them waf-wafs. they are now known affectionately around our house as \”waffies.\” the boy has also picked this up.) and i use the plural intentionally; one in her mouth, two in her right hand, one in her left; she used the one in that hand to rub her nose.

pacifiers have considerable advantages. babies are happiest when (and i hate this word) suckling; it\’s calming, and when it\’s 3 a.m. and you\’ve got a screaming toddler, calming is a good thing. there is also some research that pacifiers may help prevent SIDS. however, after too long, pacifiers can cause a toddler\’s teeth to come in crooked. and there\’s the dependency thing. our pediatrician recommended that kids lose the pacifier not long after their third birthday. yesterday was the day for soph.

my wife gets a gold star for how well this entire process was managed. we both started talking to soph a few days ago about how she, as a big girl, needed to stop using her waffies. however, we would let her exchange them for any toy she wanted from target. her choice? this. yes, she chose the barbie that comes with the pooping dog. that\’s my daughter.

naptime yesterday apparently went well. she seemed a little sad at bedtime last night, and asked for more songs than usual, but otherwise was normal. she woke up at her regular time this morning asking for the pacifiers, but was quickly distracted when i brought her barbie and tanner, the dog that eats its own poop.

while i\’m incredibly proud of my little girl for passing yet another milestone on her path to being a big girl, i must admit that this one has me a little more sad. sophie has changed such an amazing amount over the past three years; one of the few constants has been that pacifier stuck in her mouth. and now that\’s gone, too.

as i was putting her in her dora pajamas last night, i reminded her that she wasn\’t going to have her waf-wafs, and asked if that was ok. she patted me softly on the head, and said \”it\’ll be ok, daddy.\” and, she\’s right. it will be.