Back to the Future
- Wade
I feel asleep briefly in front of the television yesterday afternoon, bored by another episode of "Who Creams The Vikings This Week?" Somehow, I woke up in 1997, because the man leading the Purple-helmeted Warriors was none other than Brad Johnson. You remember Brad, don't you?
Yep. Him. Former FSU standout (and backup to Casey Weldon, if you're into the whole inane sports trivia thing.) Brad played in 38 games for the Vikes between 1994 and 1998. He also sang in a country duet with Jo Dee Messina. (And you think I was kidding.)
The follow-up question that naturally pops up for all Lutherans: What does this mean? Well, a few things.
First, all of the yahoo farmers from Iowa who call into KFAN complaining that Daunte Culpepper should be benched in favor of Johnson will get their wish. I'm guessing they're going to be disappointed because..
Second, Brad Johnson can no longer move. Never fleet-of-foot, he's now got cement feet. The only success the Vikings seemed to have yesterday was when the offense was in "max protection" mode. I think that means they kept a tight end and fullback for the sole purpose of blocking. It may mean that they all use Trojan condoms. Maybe both. Who knows.
Third, the Vikings now can focus on next year's draft.
Fourth, Mike Tice should check out the new features of monster.com.
And lastly, Sid and all of the other paint-thinner-drinking apologists now have the excuse they were looking for as to why the 2005 season went into the tank: if only Daunte hadn't torn up his right knee, we were about to make a major turnaround...
What do you think? Drop us a line at webmaster@simpleprop.com and give us some
feedback. Maybe we'll even run your letters in future Gambits. 'The Daily Gambit' is updated every weekday.
