I've Heard Saskatoon Is Nice In The Fall
- Wade
This gambit is for the 60,040,610 of you who voted for George W. Bush last year.
Here's the latest quote from your president:
"We can all pitch in by using -- by being better conservers of energy," Bush said. "People just need to recognize that these storms have caused disruption and that if they're able to maybe not drive on a trip that's not essential, that would be helpful."
Yes, that's right. The same administration that passed tax breaks to encourage people to buy SUVs is now... telling us to go ride a bike. The fuel and energy problems that we're experiencing and will experience are all due to a couple of evil dames named Katrina and Rita. So, if possible, could you walk to the grocery store and leave the Escalade in the garage?
I mean, it's not like there's some other obvious major source of energy expenditure happening right now. Oh, wait. That small middle-eastern country that had bombs but really didn't? Iraq. Right. Well, I'm sure that's not taking a lot of our resources.
Oh.
In the May 2005 issue of The Atlantic, Robert Bryce writes that the U.S. military uses 1.7 million gallons of fuel a day in Iraq. At the time he wrote, there were 150,000 troops on the ground in Iraq; each one of them consumed the equivalent of nine gallons a day.
But at least we're doing some good over there, right? We're spreading the our (and therefore the best) form of government to the people of Iraq, and they're soooo happy about it. Right? We're winning over the hearts and minds of insurgents and the attacks on our troops are decreasing... Right?
Oh.
Let's just hope Dubya doesn't get an itch to invade Syria or North Korea. Then our resource shortage will be the fault of Mexico. Or Bill Clinton. Or really industrious rabbits.
Off to air up the tires on my Schwinn. I'd suggest you do the same.
What do you think? Drop us a line at webmaster@simpleprop.com and give us some
feedback. Maybe we'll even run your letters in future Gambits. 'The Daily Gambit' is updated every weekday.
