The Whizzinator
- wadE
Ok, so go here.
Yeah, so Onterrio Smith (RB - Vikings) a.k.a. SOD (Steal Of The Draft circa 2003) was caught
at the airport when his bag was searched, due to a tube of toothpaste, with The Whizzinator.
The $150 device includes a prosthetic penis attached to a jockstrap and plastic bag. Using
a syringe, the user fills the bag with a precisely measured amount of water blended with the urine
powder to create a clean sample. When the user takes a drug test in front of an observer, the water
is released through the prosthetic with a valve (the instructions recommend the user cough to hide
the sound of the valve unsnapping).
On its website, manufacturers of The Original Whizzinator market the instrument as an
"undetectable,"foolproof" and "re-usable" urinating device.
Like other professional sports leagues, the NFL administers random drug tests to players.
According to Aiello, the NFL's testing guidelines include having the player take his shirt
off and pull his pants down below his knees in front of an observer.
Since the fascists, er, I mean Internet Overlords here at work won't let me view it, I'll leave
it to you to check out www.thewhizzinator.com
and decide for yourself if an NFL pissing observer would be fooled.
And check out what might be the funniest thing that Reusse has ever written for the
Strib (which ain't
saying much)...
What do you think? Drop us a line at webmaster@simpleprop.com and give us some
feedback. Maybe we'll even run your letters in future Gambits. 'The Daily Gambit' is updated every weekday.
