Road Rage
- Wade
First, read this. (Then come back.)
We've all seen this guy before, right? Not necessarily *this* guy, of course, but someone exactly like him. He's usually driving a pickup truck, as much as I like to avoid sweeping generalizations. I'd also guess that he had some sort of Calvin peeing sticker affixed to the back window. Not only does he pull asshole moves like this, he's also known to pass on the right, exceed the speed limit by 20 miles per hour, and not you merge into traffic.
Oh, he's also the guy driving west on Crosstown in the Lyndale-only lane right up until the Lyndale exit, when he forces himself into the 35W North lane, that has been backed up to Xerxes.
Every time I see this guy driving, I instantaneously get pissed off. Not just because an accident like the above could happen, although that's part of it. Mostly because this guy believes his sense of entitlement is greater than other people on the road. He doesn't think he should have to wait for slower drivers, bottlenecks, or (God forbid) pedestrians.
I try to be a nice person. I try to encorporate love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, gentleness, and self-control into my daily life. But when I see this guy? I wish some really hateful shit on him. Not death, of course. Not even debilitating injury. But I'd sure like to see him total his shiny beast of a pickup. And break a leg or two. Something to make him think twice before barreling down the highway next time. Something to keep him a safe distance behind the cars in front of him.
Does this make me a bad person? Maybe. But I think the real reason is... I used to be that guy. No, I never owned a pickup. And I've never purchased a sticker with Calvin peeing on anything. (Although if I did, he certainly would be peeing on something more interesting than a Ford logo.) But I sped, tailgated, drove like an ass. Then totalled my car on a chilly October morning going across the Mississippi on 35W South. I got lucky-- only my car got damaged. But it taught me to be more sane, and (presumably) a better driver.
I guess idiots just need to learn the hard way. But it's sad when schoolkids have to be part of that lesson.
What do you think? Drop us a line at webmaster@simpleprop.com and give us some
feedback. Maybe we'll even run your letters in future Gambits. 'The Daily Gambit' is updated every weekday.
