autumn
- wade
i walk slowly and feel the cool raindrops hit my neck. i could get out my umbrella, but why bother? i'm definitely not made of sugar. it's only 5:30 but it's dark. cool. windy. october.
i continue my slow pace as i ease up marquette towards my bus stop. traffic's a bitch at this time of the day, so my bus will be late. it doesn't matter. i stuff my hands into my pockets. the sound of john mayer seems fitting for both my disposition and surroundings-- mellow, soft, reflective.
i reach my stop. i stop. i look around, seeing the faces of people who are nothing like me but all want the same thing right now: to get home. cars inch by. you couldn't pay me enough to drive downtown. i peer over the head of the man next to me, straining to see if the 566 is in sight. and then i stop. what's the use of knowing whether it's in sight or not.
i look up. it's not completely dark yet, but all of the downtown buildings are lit. pillsbury. wells fargo. u.s. bank, or, as jason calls it, the stanley cup building. a few raindrops splash down on my face. remember when you were a kid and went out in the rain on purpose? just for fun? maybe it was just an austin thing. now rain just means that it'll be another day before i can rake my leaves.
without thinking, i crane my neck again to see if the bus is on its way. stop it. it'll get here. life's a journey, not a destination-- isn't that what steven tyler said? god, if you're looking to aerosmith for your daily dose of philosophy, you've got troubles. there's a woman next to me talking on her cell phone, so loud i can hear her over "something's missing." talking work talk. i want to bat the phone out of her hands and tell her to stop, quit, whatever it is will get done tomorrow. enjoy now. enjoy waiting for your bus. enjoy... doing nothing. but i don't say anything. i stand, listening, watching, feeling the cool autumn breeze slip beneath my collar and down my neck.
then i look over, trying to see if my bus is in sight yet.
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