We're all gonna die!
- Alex
"Thunderstruck" Timmy set me up today with a link to this site. There are times when I'm
amazed that three jackasses such as the SP.com staff are allowed to have a website. Then I see a site like this and suddenly feel much
better about myself.
Apparently, there's a planet out there that's gonna affect the Earth's magnetic poles 15 days from now! This will cause massive geographic
shifts and volcanic eruptions and general overall calamity. Apparently the planet is also cloaked with Romulan technology, because the only
person who's been able to see it is a kid in North Carolina using a digital camera and binoculars. This kid derives his superhuman powers by
being named after a Radiohead album. How else would one explain the fact that a PLANET that's gonna cause a worldwide calamity is only
15 days away, yet no one has seen it? And please, keep your comments about 'the syndicate' to yourself. No one likes you anyway, Mulder.
What other sites might be out there? What other losers might be making even less of their lives than Poley McPoleDance up there? How about...
http://www.icyrex.com/
The dinosaurs aren't extinct, they're frozen! As soon as global warming melts enough of Antarctica they're gonna wake up, and they're
gonna be pissed!
http://www.sevendays.com/
For all you heathens who don't believe God created the Universe in seven literal days... be prepared for Him to unleash an awful wrath
and show you incredible jerks just how long seven days can be! Coming next month!
http://www.operation-steinnypants.com/
If the Yankees fail to win the World Series this year, you'll find out about the secret Doomsday device good old Owner George has buried
under NYC... and no matter what happens, there's a Scud with the Rally Monkey's name on it sitting on the pad right now.
These would all be GREAT Hollywood movies, by the way... any interested agents should contact me. I'm full of it.
I'm out. Peace.
What do you think? Drop us a line at webmaster@simpleprop.com and give us some
feedback. Maybe we'll even run your letters in future Gambits. 'The Daily Gambit' is updated every weekday.
