Junk Mail
- Wade
To the world wide web world, I've always been anderswa. My first experience with the Internet was in August of 1994, and that's when I assumed this "identity," thanks to Saint Olaf's e-mail address naming standards. Since then I've been wade.a.anderson, anderwa, and even the ethereal-sounding wander21-- but nothing has stuck like anderswa.
Because of my affinity for this string of characters (yes, I am in IT), I jumped early and secured anderswa@yahoo.com back in 1997. And, since I used that address for anything I've signed up for on the 'net, I get a considerable amount of junk mail in that account. (So much that I've now nearly abandoned it-- for anderswa@hotmail.com, of course.) Let's look at some of the fun stuff I currently have in my Yahoo Bulk folder, shall we?
From: Lucky Deals Subject: Download Faster!
Says here that I can optimize my cable modem, with downloads from 50% to 90% faster. "Advanced technology for todays computing needs." Yeah, who needs that apostrophe anyway. I'm not a network guy, but I'm fairly sure additional software isn't going to speed up your connection to the Internet. The good news about this product, apparently, is that there's "No Need to Hack with your Computer's Registry." Hooray.
From: lfreelf2reeforu2 Subject: Wade Anderson, see Britney Spears insane France Interview!
Sounds interesting enough, no? Although, how insane could a France Interview be, really? Just for Britney, I'll check it out. Clicking to view the message, I was distressed to see that there *was* no message. Guess I don't know enough about marketing.
From: eBargains News Letter Subject: Get the "Iraq Most Wanted" Deck of Cards!
Now there's something that no poker night should be without. I had to look. My excitement was premature, though-- although you can see Saddam Hussein (ace of spades, naturally), you can't see the names or pictures of any of the other cards. For only $5.95, it's almost worth it to order and find out....
From: membership Subject: Urgent Message For Anderswa!!!
What? An urgent message? How did this get filtered to Bulk mail? This is from yesterday-- what if I missed out on something?!? Let's see what urgent message I missed:
Greetings Dear Friend ! Tell me please, do You believe that still somewhere exist such pureteens's sites where support is respectfull to users ?
Oh. Yeah, that probably isn't so urgent.
From: Suzie Johnson Subject: Female Arousal Breakthrough!!
Hmm. Were you aware that a breakthrough audio CD (just recently available to the public) promises to shorten foreplay time? Just by stimulating her true sensual organ (her mind.) Should I not be reading this at work?
Probably not. What did we learn today? Not much, other than Hormel should be a little more ticked about describing this stuff as spam. Spam may be gross, but not as bad as some of this stuff.
What do you think? Drop us a line at webmaster@simpleprop.com and give us some
feedback. Maybe we'll even run your letters in future Gambits. 'The Daily Gambit' is updated every weekday.
