Skyway to Hell
- Wade
I reach out to open the door. Nothing. I audibly groan and roll my eyes. How could they do this to me? Don't they know I've got a meeting to go to? And, yet, they close the Skyway through the Soo Line Building. All because some pipe broke, and there's water all over the floor. I can navigate that. But I don't get the chance. Now I have to walk.. OUTSIDE... to get to the building across the street. Ingrates.
This October marks my five-year anniversary of working in downtown Minneapolis. If given a choice between taking it and leaving it, I most decidedly would leave it. Commuting here and fearing the next terrorist attack are among the top reasons why I'd be happier working in the southern suburbs. That isn't to say that there aren't advantages to working here. Target, for example. One can also choose from a multitude of places to eat lunch-- although I end up going to the same one or two places. Finally, downtown allows me to take advantage of that Minnesota phenomenon, the Skyway.
At first, I felt like a hampster. After some seasoning, though, I've learned the value of the Skyway. First, and most important, warmth. Second, the Skyway lends itself to some interesting observations. Such as...
Highway Effect When walking, the Skyway becomes a highway. Slower people should stay right. I'm in a hurry, most of the time. When I encounter a slower moving "vehicle," I pull into the passing "lane" and zoom past. It usually works fine. Until, of course, you get the large group of slow-movers who take up the entire skyway. This happens around noon, and usually around the places that serve cheap and bad food. Passing also gets a little scary in the two-lane skyways. I fully expect to get bowled over by people drag-racing in these these thin ones. Am I thinking about this too much?
Coffee Status Symbols You really aren't anyone in the Skyways unless you're holding onto a paper coffee cup. If you're holding one from Starbucks, that means you're the elite of the elite. Nothing but the best will do, and any cost is tolerated in the name of looking good. Holding a cup from Caribou coffee can mean one of many things. One, you want corporate coffee but aren't willing to bow down to the monopolist Starbucks. Or, you may just want to support the "local" company. If you're holding a cup from one of the other coffee shops in the Skyway, you're viewed simply as unsophisticated and cheap. No coffee cup at all? Please. You barely exist.
Neighborhoods The Skyway has fashion-district neighborhoods and working-class neighborhoods. The "fancy" area is around the IDS, Dayton's, and Gaviidae-- lots of young, nicely-dressed downtown workers usually on their way to Target Corp. As you get further away from Nicollet Mall, more "real" people begin to appear-- not so young and pretty, but Skyway workers nonetheless.
Cell Phones You can't throw a hot cup of Caribou coffee in the Skyway without hitting a dozen people talking on a cellular phone. (Wow, "cellular phone" makes me sound like an old person. Funny.) Anyway, I have no problem with these people. Well, unless they prevent me from passing on the highway, see above. What does slay me, though, is the image of people talking on their cell phones using their hands-free attachment. These things are great for cars, I suppose. And if you're sitting down, fine. But seeing someone walk through the Skyway, by himself, having a (loud) conversation with seemingly no one.. Entertainmentery.
Time to go get coffee. Best stay out of my way.
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