The Oscars
- Wade
Maybe it's the price of popcorn. Or being subjected to fifteen minutes of commericals and previews. Or the cost.
Regardless, I'm not a movie-goer.
The Academy Award announced the 2003 Oscar nominees this morning. Of the movies up for best picture, I've seen zero. "Chicago"? No. Don't sing, please. Especially since none of the songs were from the group Chicago. "Gangs of New York"? Although it looked interesting, I heard too much bad press about this movie. Besides, I already served my 3-hour Leo DeCaprio sentence in 1997. "The Hours"? Looks like a Lifetime movie. "The Pianist"? I didn't see "The Piano," why would I want to see the sequel? (Yes, I'm playing dumb.) And I'd rather not even dignify "The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers" with a response as I know it would just whip my fellow simpleprop writers into a Frodo-like lather.
If you take the past two years into account, I am 1-for-15 in watching Best Picture nominees (with "A Beautiful Mind" as the lone exception.) That's not a great clip, even for a Twins designated hitter.
Am I just a culture outcast, sitting on my couch watching "Cosby Show" reruns instead of exploring the excitement and drama intrinsic in the film genre? Partially. Since I know you're dying to know, here are other reasons why I just don't see movies.
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Okay, that was a lie. I do see movies. However, they generally aren't the kind that get nominated for Best Picture Oscars. Last year Sara and I saw (among others) "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets," "Signs," and "My Big Fat Greek Wedding." Funny / kitschy movies don't fare well in competitions awarding outstanding film achievements. (That last sentence should be read in a Mr. Howell voice.)
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A few movies that I've gone to have been disturbing. Ever see "Fifteen"? Every time I sipped my Uber-Gulp soda (only $4.75) there was someone getting stabbed or shot or hit with a baseball bat. (Uh oh, Wade's on his gratuitous violence kick. Time to check out what's on espn.com.) Another example is last year's "Road to Perdition"-- a movie I liked a great deal until the end. Without ruining it, you can have that ending without it being as graphic. I wrote a full article on that last spring, if you wanted to find it.
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One word: "Showtime." You wouldn't imagine an Eddie Murphy / Robert DeNiro pairing would be that bad. Am I alone here?
This year I'll again have to watch the Academy Awards in ignorance. Maybe someday I'll rise above the pulp fiction level of movies that I currently see and watch something that is truly, uh, enriching. Until then, I'll keep surfing Nick at Nite for the Cos.
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feedback. Maybe we'll even run your letters in future Gambits. 'The Daily Gambit' is updated every weekday.
